I arrived in Troyes at around six on Wednesday evening and pulled in to an ‘air du camping’ where, for the second time on this trip already, I had failed to see that there was no toilet at the spot. I really only picked to stop at Troyes because it was just under half way to my final destination of Geneva and when I searched ‘tennis court’ on maps the town seemed to have quite a few. Little did I realise once I re-checked, after arriving, there was a club directly opposite where I would be spending the night. So, while holding in a poo, I went to investigate. The club was closed. On google – it said it would open again tomorrow at 10am. I could hear people playing though and briefly considered climbing over the gate to find someone to play but I thought that wasn’t the best idea.
The next morning I got up and headed to the cafe where I ordered a coffee and sat down for a respectable minute and a half before using the toilet – the real reason I was there. After a big *blublong* I drank my coffee and nodded at locals who seemed to know what I had just done in the toilet, eagerly awaiting 10 o’clock.
This felt like the first real renegade moment of the project – I had no connections to Troyes had never been there and was about to go explain my bizarre project in my average French to someone random in the hope they could help me find a game. I stumbled through my explanation to the receptionist who was understandably confused but was willing to help – however her concerns were with my level and asked for my rating. Ratings are a big thing in France and I’m realising it means a lot to the clubs and players – I have no idea what I would be – Is there a rating for ‘shit enough to play with shit people but good enough to play with good people’? On my way in to the club that morning I had seen two guys on the back court ripping the ball at one and other in what looked like a really heated match. I said to the receptionist ‘I want to play one of those guys’ she looked at me and said ‘but they are REALLY good’ I said ‘I know, but i want a challenge’ she sighed and walked me outside to the court where they were playing and she made me re-explain my project to three tall, very good tennis players. Their response was the same – confusion and then ‘what’s your rating?’ I said I didn’t know but they said ‘wait 5 minutes and you can play Hugo so we can judge your level’. I sat waiting for their match to finish and was thrown on court to hit the ball with Hugo. After 5 or ten minutes they called for some serves and said we were to play a tie-break to decipher how good I was. My heart rate was easily 220 at this point. We played the tie break. I lost 7-4 but hit a big ace out wide which got the applause of the other 2. The coach came up to me and said ok I am going to ask some of my players and I will find someone for you to play this evening or tomorrow morning. He took my number, I thanked both him and the receptionist, who had also stayed to watch, and walked back to my van, still with no idea what my rating was, to wait for a text. Then came the text.
Holy shit – am I in a video game? it fucking feels like it. Tested by the gym master while he decides who he’s going to send out to battle me. I cant believe this is actually working, insanity. Anyway I spent the hours leading up to 5 0’clock farting and trying not to smoke cigarettes. Oh and some stretching. Walking back into the club I was greeted by the receptionist taking out the bins where she wished me good luck and told me they were over on the same court as this morning. Approaching the court I could see Abel (the coach) feeding balls to a girl who was practicing finishing short balls – I knew this was going to be my opponent and I was very excited – the first girl of the project! While I sat and waited for them to finish Abel turns to me and says ‘she’s getting ready to kick your ass bro’. I said something back but don’t remember what – I was excited and nervous! After they were done I was introduced to Marianne and the coach had asked if we could play on clay as Marianne has a tournament on Saturday and needs to get a feel for the surface – no problem. We were pointed inn the direction of a barn that literally looked like you could fart on it and it would blow over, but as we walked in I was greeted by one of the most unique courts I had ever played on! A single clay court inside a (as I later found out) world war 2 plane hanger! It truely did feel like I was in Street Fighter 2 at this point!
We played our match and I managed to win 6-4. I don’t think either of us played our best and I know on another day Marianne would run me off the court! Regardless I did feel very happy that I managed to pull through. Marianne invited me for a drink at the clubhouse where we had a pineapple juice and a chat about Mariannes studies in Architecture, her tennis history and how she ended up in Troyes! As I walked out of the club a few members asked ‘who won?’, ‘Did you win?’ They had looked at the website during the day and were now much more onboard with the idea. I truly cant believe its working! Thanks to the receptionist (whose name i cant remember for the life of me!) for being so helpful, Abel for finding me a player and Marianne for playing! What an incredible day on the VanAm tour!
